If you are a mother, you will probably have experienced that time during the last month or so of pregnancy when you decide that you don’t want to go through with it after all. For me, it was during childbirth classes when they showed hard plastic templates of 1cm – 10cm holes. If they hadn’t followed up with a video in which it became clear that dilation meant being able to be stretched to 10cm and not just having a 10cm opening, I’m pretty sure I would have remained panicked until my daughter was actually born!
I guess that is where I am now. I have rationally taken in the information, I understand the upcoming treatment and its purpose. I have made plans for the day, what to take with me, what to do during the treatment etc. I just really don’t want to do it. I know I said in my last post that I was glad to be getting started, and really I am, but I would prefer not to.
I’m going to go with the theory that, just as childbirth may have been easier than I thought (well not at the time, but in retrospect) this probably won’t be very pleasant, but the resulting reduction of the cancer will be well worth it. Right?